Nine years ago we bought our first home.
I can still remember the agony of trying to find the right house for our growing family. We searched neighborhood after neighborhood, but never felt good about any of the homes. In fact, I had a lot of anxiety and nightmares about some of the homes we looked at.
We finally ended up talking with a friend of ours, whose a cop and asked him which neighborhood was the safest to raise kids in. He told us without hesitation the exact neighborhood. We immediately drove to it and there we found the perfect home for us. The moment we pulled up to the curb, a feeling of peace washed over me. I didn't even have to go inside the house, I knew this was to be our home.
Just recently we were faced with the decision to not only move from the only home we've known, but to move from our home state. The last couple of months have been long and stressful. Many sleepless nights and disagreements about what is best for our family. We wanted to be certain we were making the right decision and really put a lot of time and energy into analyzing every angle, but when it came down to what was best, we agreed with one plan...
TRUST IN THE LORD!! Leave all doors open and he will lead us to the right door and shut all the other doors.
Well, David began opening all of the doors he could and it was starting to look like we were going to dig up our roots and move to a whole new state. His motto became, "Go BIG or stay home." In order to make it big, the company he was interviewing with asked if he was willing to come train in Sacramento, California for 6 months before making a choice on where to settle our family. This was a huge opportunity for him and the plan was set in motion for me to stay behind with the kids and try to prepare the house for moving, while he lived in Sacramento. I knew it would be difficult, but felt I could handle it. Although, deep down, I really felt unsettled about the whole thing. For weeks, I tried to ignore the feelings and support David's desires for success.
Our choices were...
Go BIG...Move to either Reno, Phoenix, Denver, Boise, Sacramento, or Las Vegas after a 6 month training period in Sacremento.
or
Stay home and patiently wait to see what happens with his present company.
This past Thursday David announced that he would be going hunting alone for two day. He felt he needed time to clear his head and make sense of things. He packed his scriptures, guns, survival gear, and kissed us all goodbye.
That night while praying for David's safety, I felt impressed to pray for his eyes to be opened to an understanding of God's will for our family. I then recalled in my mind the experience I had 9 years ago of driving up to our home and knowing this was where we we supposed to be. I felt that same feeling of peace wash over me. I knew in that moment that God needed us to stay home. I hoped David would get that same confirmation.
The next morning I started my normal routine of getting the kids off to school and cleaning the house. David called me a little before noon. The reception wasn't good. I understood that he hadn't gotten a deer, but he had an answer to our moving dilemma. He had been studying his scriptures, praying, and began reading a book on Kindle called, "Not My Will, But Thine," by Neal A. Maxwell. He learned his desires for bigger and better are not what God wants for us right now. He felt peace about staying put in our home and patiently waiting to see what happens with the future of his present company. I then told him about the unsettling feelings I had had about moving and how I wanted to support him with his career advancement, but felt the timing was wrong and that we needed to stay. Both of us agreed, it would take a huge amount of trust and patience to stay, but if we were willing to do what the Lord wanted, we would be blessed.
I love how the Lord works to bring about his will in our lives.
Today, as I picked up the book, "Not My Will, But Thine" from my desk and scanned the chapter titles, I remembered earlier in the year we had been faced with a similar decision and this particular book had stood out to me on the bookshelf, as if calling out to me to read it. I remember opening it to the inside cover and seeing a note from the Bishop of the Ward we were in when we were engaged. He had given us this book as a wedding gift. He wrote...
August 1998
David and Tiffani,As You move forward in life together your success in marriage and your success in life will be in direct proportion to you being able to live and apply the title of this book, "Not My Will, But Thine"You are wonderful and have a great furture.May God bless you now & always.
Your Eternal Friends.....
I called David at work and shared this note with him. Once again we both felt peace about about our decision to stay home and took the note as a tender mercy from the Lord; a reminder that he is aware and watching out for us.
We may not be going BIG, but we figure it doesn't matter, because actually by staying home we are going BIG.
